What Should I do if I am Caught in a Personality Conflict?

Here are some suggestions:

  • Be self-introspective.
  • Accentuate the positive.
  • Talk to the individual.
  • Keep communication channels open.
  • Treat everyone alike.
  • Agree to disagree.

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Be self-introspective. Step outside of yourself to see what is the root cause of the personality conflict. As a manager, you aren’t immune from errors, so you may have made a mistake in your dealings with the person, whether employee, colleague, manager, or customer. Could that be the cause of the personality conflict? On the other hand, could your work or communication style be so different that you have no choice but to clash?

Accentuate the positive. If the individual is making an effort to work cooperatively with you, despite differences in outlook, demonstrate your appreciation of the effort. If it’s your manager, let him or her know that you welcome the effort.

Talk to the individual. A frequently overlooked tactic is to talk to the person in a mature fashion. Talk in a frank but non-threatening manner about the relationship between you.

Keep communication channels open. You can only do further harm to your relationship with an employee, coworker, or manager by cutting off communication, even if it is only about work.

Treat everyone alike. If your conflict is with an employee, don’t single this person out for any better or worse treatment than other employees. If the conflict is with a peer, be as cooperative with this individual as other colleagues.

Agree to disagree. If all else fails, you may want to meet with the individual to agree that you have innate differences but that you will put these aside and work together. Just as talking out the problem may reveal that your manager doesn’t know that her behavior is making you uncomfortable, or that you don’t know something you are doing bothers a colleague, agreeing to disagree may likewise get you past the personality conflict. In focusing on work, you and your manager or coworker or employee may, in time, create a productive partnership that overrides the personality difference.